16 Comments

    • Sherry

      Your words are inspiring on so many levels. My boyfriend sustained his TBI 3 yrs & 8 months ago. I too held on for 3 1/2 years and realized how I had lost myself in the process and focus on his recovery. The caregivers are so forgotten about… yet everyone visits and returns to their daily lives. The caregiver also continues on the course and mission, and awaits for signs of a better tomorrow, always ‘protecting’ and advocating for their TBI loved one. I realized at 3 1/2 post TBI that it was time for my daughter and myself to regain some sort of new found normal, and we moved out. My boyfriend is now capable of living on his own as well. However, the close bond you have mentioned exists for us too. And, after he realized I was not abandoning him, and would be there for him but only a few miles away, he better understood the move. It has been four months since the move, and our relationship now is better than what it’s been since his TBI. We are relearning each other, and both have the space to process. I think it has given him more quiet time, which is always a good thing for TBI. And, for me, it has given me the space to regroup myself. There was a lot of guilt – for me – leading up to the move, and even more after. But, taking myself out of the parental role has done wonders for our relationship. I wish you the very best. And, again, thank you for sharing. God Bless.

      • Anj Granieri

        I’m so glad to hear that you are doing well, and your ex-boyfriend is too. It is not an easy decision at all to make. And I experienced all the same feelings of guilt and shame, neglect and sadness and despair and loss. Its been a dark and cold 6 months, because Patrick did NOT take it well at all and we had a lot of turmoil. But now things have steadied and smoothed out, and I agree that its been much better for us to live separately as friends than to relieve this old dynamic that was headed in the same direction as it was before his TBI. I hope you and your daughter are soon thriving. And God bless you for continuing to support your ex any way you can.

  1. Dootsie williams

    What a wonderful surprise when I opened my email ! Iwondered what happened and I was sad when I heard y’all weren’t together . but now I’m so happy because you explained it so well 😊you both look so good thank you for sharing ., I Love following yalls journey .

    Dootsie

    • Anj Granieri

      I’m glad that my response left you feeling good! I am glad that you aren’t sad anymore. Thank you again for the continued support.

  2. Kathy Pearson

    Hi, Anj thank you for being able to write about your feelings. I never questioned you, I figured if you wanted to share with us what happened it was up to you.. I would love to continue to hear your stories! Krystal still cannot live on her own..so cudos to Patrick! I love you both,you feel like family even though we have never met! Stay strong and never give up!

    • Anj Granieri

      hey there… thanks for trusting me and believing in me. Yes, it wasn’t time to share until now. I even questioned if it was the right time now! But felt pretty certain it was time. I feel so fortunate that Patrick can live alone with minimal support and he should be much more proud of himself than he is.. .i don’t think he realizes how great he is… I’m sorry that Krystal can’t live alone but glad she has you! <3

  3. Tammy Moeller

    Thank you for sharing. I have thought of you both often in the past 6 months. Our survivors had their injuries at about the same time. My husband will reach the 3 1/2 year mark in a couple of weeks. Many times what you wrote mirrored how I felt at those times and still do. I am at the point of needing to put myself first at times and not making it all about him. We still have a lot of doctor appointments, so it still is very much about him but I am finding a way to fit “me” in too. I will still continue to follow your story and support you in this journey. You continue to lift me up and I thank you for that.

    • Anj Granieri

      I hope your husband is doing well. I forget that so many people started following us at the beginning of our journey. it means so much to me to know that I was in any way a help to you. And yes, you need to begin to make time for you. It matters. Relationships have to be balanced, and even in the TBi world… we can achieve some element of balance but we must prioritize it. Hugs to you. Thank you.

  4. Clare Cizek

    Anj – Thanks for all you do for Patrick and for all of us. You are authentic, caring, smart, an incredibly gifted communicator and it is an honor knowing you albeit through our common walk as caregivers to a loved one with a TBI. Blessings on your and Patricks journey.

  5. Beverly Waters

    Anj, thank you once again for being so open and honest. I am sorry to hear about your relationship with Patrick but so glad to hear that you remain so close. You have been missed and I hope that you continue taking care of yourself. It is so easy to get caught up in being the caregiver and forget self. Look forward to hearing more from you!

    • Anj Granieri

      Thank you so much. Yes, it is indeed difficult. Life is so hard, you know? So freaking hard. But we must always move towards balance. And in my case, balance means being alone for a while.

  6. Sherry

    So freaking hard! I admire your strength. Yes, your strength. Know that your story and the way you express yourself is making an impact on others in similar situations. I will continue to follow you!

    Thank you for having the strength and courage to tell your story. I wish you and Patrick the very best life can be.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *